Many of you know about the woes of home ownership. The projects are never finished, there's always something to fix or improve, and it kind of wears on you. If you add in the fact that Tyler and I have no idea what we are doing when it comes to repairing a house, and it's no surprise that we hire someone for almost every project in our home.
Over the summer we had some siding replaced and we got to know the contractor pretty well as they were At the house for almost a week. It was summer, so naturally I was home alone. I trusted these guys so I felt completely safe, and they did a great job.
Fast forward to this month, and they are back at our house again, this time doing some minor wall repair that ended up being a nightmare. The pipes were old and leaky so the job quickly doubled and then nearly tripled in price. Still though, the team was professional and we didn't think anything ill of them;that is, until I was left alone the second day of the job.
The head contractor seemed to linger, but I just assumed he was putting off being in the cold. He wrote up the bill and I paid, since he was going to be at another job on Wednesday and the team would not be able to let me pay with a card. I paid and still didn't think any thing was amiss. As he is leaving and I'm standing at the back door he propositions me, "you wouldn't happen to want to fool around with an old man like me, would you. I just think you are so cute. I hope this doesn't harm our business with you but I just have to throw this out there."
I was disgusted. I mumbled some things to him as I slammed the door in his face. In the pit of my stomach I felt ashamed and sick. I immediately called my husband and told him what happened. I was distraught, and the most shocking thing was I felt like it was somehow my fault. How stupid is that? I immediately started retracing my steps. I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. Nothing scandalous was said and I didn't do anything that would lead someone on. Why was I even considering that this could be my fault?
The only conclusion I can come to is that it is the society we are in. I was a victim of sexual harassment. When things like this happen, it's usually construed by people as the victim's fault somehow. "Well what was she wearing? How was she acting? She probably led him on." You will see those things every time you read the comments of a rape or harassment article. It is engrained in our society that people don't just have sick thoughts and act on them; the woman must have a role in this. However, the truth is that there are just bad people in the world who do bad things. They should be punished rather than defended, and then maybe more people would be inclined to come forward when things like this happen.
Me? I was lucky. Lucky that I had the presence of mind to shut the door in his face. Lucky that I picked up the phone and my amazing, supportive husband took care the situation. Lucky that my mother was understanding and my dad and brother let me spend the day with them when I was afraid to stay home alone. Not everyone has this kind of support.
I guess I tell you readers this for two reasons. First, it is cathartic. Getting these thoughts on the screen help to get them out of my brain. Second, to serve as a cautionary tale to people to keep their guards up. I know that sounds terrible, but if you don't know someone personally you don't know what they are capable of.
Fathers and mothers, teach your children to respect people regardless of gender. Teach them that if bad things like this happen to them that they are not the problem. Sick people who are allowed to do this are the problem. I did report him to the proper channels and we immediately fired him and his team from the job, even though they weren't finished.
I wish these kind of things didn't happen. Unfortunately I heard on more than one occasion Yesterday that things like this were just part of being a woman. It shouldn't be part of being a woman. It shouldn't be a part of anyone's life. Until we work to make people respect each other this will be a problem.
